“If I Only Get Ten Grand”

Ray Bolger as the scarecrow
in The Wizard of Oz

A sing-along at the Eleventh International Conference on Shaken Baby Syndrome/Abusive Head Trauma, sponsored by the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome, in 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia.

The song is to the tune of  “If I Only Had a Brain” from The Wizard of Oz. The words were shown on the screen, with a bouncing ball, as I recall, and the audience was given a part.

The performance was featured at the end of the talk, “To Tell the Truth: Examining Defense Witness Testimony in Abusive Head Trauma Cases,” by Brian Holmgren, Assistant District Attorney General, Davidson County Attorney General’s Office, Nashville, Tennessee. It took place in front of some 600 people, including physicians, attorneys, police officers, social workers, and the families of children diagnosed as shaken.

I will say there is no basis for the claims in shaking cases,
My opinion’s in demand.
Though my theories are outrageous, I’ll work hard to earn my wages
If I only get ten grand.

I could be an honest person, say abuse, of this I’m certain
Like Oz across the land
But my wallet says it’s needin’ so I’ll say it’s all rebleedin’
If I only get ten grand.

Oh, I will tell you why the State’s proof is not there,
Make my claims for causes that are very rare
No proof for them, why should I care?

I don’t care what other docs say, I will claim they’re short falls always,
Professing on the stand.
Bleeding bad within the brain or say I’ll not abuse again
If I only get ten grand.

Other things cause bleeds in eyes, confessions are all lies,
I’m like a one man band,
Anecdotes do not make science, research has no reliance
If I only get ten grand.

Oh I will tell you why the State’s proof is not there
Make my claims for causes that are very rare
No proof for them why should I care

I’m attacked by many critics, but defense guys like to get us
Cause I support their plan.
They’ll decry me as a chorus, I don’t care my skin’s not porous
Cause I always get ten grand.
I want to get ten grand.
I really need ten grand.

There may be a few mistakes in this transcription.

I was staggered.    -Sue